[Rumori] AtATgram: "The Sound... Of Silence" (2/5/04)

[david at locarecords.com]

David <david at locarecords.com> is sending you a scene from _As_the_Apple_Turns!_

"Thought this would interest you all ... bizzare... Cheers David @ LOCA RECORDS" -David 

Scene 4490 follows:

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"The Sound... Of Silence" (2/5/04)

Listen!  Hear that?  No, seriously, listen _really carefully._ 
Hear it now?  No?  Well, neither do we.  That's how quiet things
are right now.  Forget about drama; we'd settle for an SEC
filing.  Another freakin' design award.  _Anything._  Instead,
though, it's been so quiet that even the crickets are apparently
comatose with boredom.

But that's okay, right?  Because we make our _own_ fun down here
at the AtAT compound!  Why, we have it on good authority that
with nothing but pushpins and an eraser, we can make a little
pig!  But why raid the office supplies when we've got the iTunes
Music Store to play with?

Yesterday we mentioned in passing that faithful viewer DJSTEVE
had purchased a track that cost him the "best 99 cents [he'd]
ever spent."  The joke, of course, was that it was the second
track from _The Whitey Album_ by Ciccone Youth, which consists of
a minute and three seconds' worth of silence.  To tell you the
truth, while we're amused by the fact that Apple is charging 99
cents for a song full o' nothing, we're even more amused by the
fact that said track contains the usual digital rights management
code to prevent you from playing it on any unauthorized systems. 
And the most amusing thing of all, of course, is that the song
has a thirty-second preview.

Well, as it turns out, the Ciccone Youth track is by no means the
only all-silent untune for sale at the iTMS; faithful viewers
BEN, SCOTT LEVIN, and MICHAEL WYSZOMIERSKI contributed their own
suggestions, too.  And you know how Apple recently added a bunch
of "iTunes Essentials" playlists to the store, such as "Cover
Songs" and "'70s AM Radio Classics"?  Well, we've compiled all
the silent tracks we managed to scrape together into the first
AtAT Essentials playlist, "To Be Played At Maximum Volume." 
Since we lack the power to add playlists directly to the iTMS,
you'll have to buy each of these tracks separately, but here ya
go:


	  *  "(Silence)" by Ciccone Youth, _The Whitey Album_ (1:03)
	  *  "Silence" by Bill Schaeffer, _Grain of Sand_ (1:56)
	  *  "(Silent) [1]" by Slum Village, _Trinity (Past, Present,
and Future)_ (0:04) [EXPLICIT]
	  *  "Silence" by Guster, _Keep It Together_ (0:30)
	  *  "Silence" by Pat, _Message from a Manchild_ (0:59)
	  *  "(Silent) [2]" by Slum Village, _Trinity (Past, Present,
and Future)_ (0:04) [EXPLICIT]
	  *  "Silence" by Dean Taba, _More Is More_ (1:00)
	  *  "(Silent) [3]" by Slum Village, _Trinity (Past, Present,
and Future)_ (0:07) [EXPLICIT]
	  *  "Silent Track" by Robert Earl Keen, _Walking Distance_
(1:01)


Note that three of those tracks, the ones by Slum Village, are
labeled EXPLICIT.  We've listened to them, and we have to agree:
combined, that's the dirtiest fifteen seconds of utter silence
we've ever not heard.  It's so dirty, it's like Handel's
_Messiah,_ only, you know, quiet.  So for those of you who can't
handle EXPLICIT silence, go ahead and substitute these, instead--
they're the same Slum Village tracks, only CLEAN (and, for some
reason, titled without parentheses):


	  *  "Silent [1]" by Slum Village, _Trinity (Past, Present,
and Future)_ (0:04) [CLEAN]


	  *  "Silent [2]" by Slum Village, _Trinity (Past, Present,
and Future)_ (0:04) [CLEAN]


	  *  "Silent [3]" by Slum Village, _Trinity (Past, Present,
and Future)_ (0:07) [CLEAN]


And there you have it: nine tracks of professionally-encoded
silence-- a total of six minutes and forty-four seconds of the
yawning void, all yours for just $8.91.  And if you like, you can
even keep the EXPLICIT tracks in the main playlist, add the CLEAN
ones at the end, and get fifteen _bonus_ seconds of silence for
just $2.97 more!  Talk about your seven minutes in heaven, right?

It's just a shame that "15 Minutes Silence" by Deuter, as pointed
out by faithful viewer ROB HULSON, is an Album-Only purchase. 
Especially since it is, for some reason, _sixteen_ minutes long...

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To see this scene as it was meant to be seen, complete with links
to articles and formatted as originally broadcast, visit:

  <http://www.appleturns.com/scene/?id=4490>

To see the complete, unadulterated episode in which this scene was
originally broadcast, visit:

  <http://www.appleturns.com/episode/?date=2/5/2004>

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As the Apple Turns: <http://www.appleturns.com/>
This Scene: <http://www.appleturns.com/scene/?id=4490>
This Episode: <http://www.appleturns.com/episode/?date=2/5/2004>
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